Those who join such groups tend to have an inbuilt high sense of loyalty. If you are loyal by nature, disloyalty very much goes against the grain and it can induce strong feelings of fear and guilt. Especially when leaving is preached as being an act of treachery.
It is common, when there is a suspicion that someone 'of significance' might leave, for the coercion to remain to be ramped up. Threats may be made as to what will happen when you go: you will lose 'the protection of the body', you become 'prey to Satan'. It may be preached that you will lose connection with God and that all manner of evils will befall you, either because Satan will be allowed to attack you, or because God will punish you. You have been 'cut off from the Vine' and have become fit only for burning. A level-headed believer will, no doubt, be able to brush off such threats, especially when he sees the group for what it is. Others may be more fearful.
Part of that coercion entails the pressure to 'recant', if one has raised concerns about the group. That pressure is reinforced with preaching which twists your stand into a lack of forgiveness, or operating in a spirit of criticism and gossip.
Then there is the knowledge that you will lose your support system and lifelong friends, if you have been part of the group for a long time. Worse, you may be cut off from your own flesh and blood. One's 'true' friends are to be found only within the group, since they are the elect, the like-minded, those who participate in the same 'salvation' and recognize the same gifting in the Leader. There is always a sense that those outside do not quite measure up.
It is likely that you are going to be shunned.
Some will fear the false accusations and judgment that will inevitably follow. Negative judgment by one's 'friends' can be a bitter pill to swallow, although there is the reassurance that such accusation is merely the result of information control and spreading of lies within the group.
It is commonly recorded that there is no 'correct' way to leave an abusive group. The sincere will agonize about how to do so 'righteously'. Most tend to do so silently. To leave any other way is to provide evidence of a divisive spirit. Of course, leaving silently only perpetuates the tight control of information and thought within the group, since no-one is permitted to ask questions within, or make contact without.
It's a highly stressful decision to make, and many who are bold enough to do so consequently require counselling and support to recover.
The gains, however, include the freedom to think critically (in the best sense of the word) and to engage in meaningful discussion with others, without disapproval. They include the opportunity to examine one's own worldview and values without criticism and fear of 'departing from the Truth'. The freedom to explore culture and the arts (often considered 'worldly' in communities which drive for 'holiness' and 'purity') and the recognition that love, compassion, wisdom, honesty, integrity, intelligence and respect can be found on the outside - where it now appears to be lacking on the inside! The revelation that the group did not hold a monopoly on Truth. And finding friends who care - because they care, not because they are under a religious compulsion to do so.
Some will wonder how a person can be caught up in such a group in the first place. The surprise is that, typically, such communities start with and attract intelligent idealists. They are often very beneficial, not only to those who join, but to the communities they touch. They can remain beacons for many years. But unless checks and balances / accountability systems are in place there is always a danger that things will turn sour. And that can happen very gradually.
As they say, absolute power corrupts. Absolutely.
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