Turning the tables

For the unaccountable leader to remain in power, he must develop an arsenal of weapons against any who attempt to call him to account.

Those weapons can be identified in any unhealthy community, although their expression may vary. In a totalitarian state, one might find a victim vilified, with trumped up charges against the state, punishable by imprisonment or death.

In the religious setting, the all-too common tactic of 'turning-the-tables' is more likely to focus on:

1) The supposed ungodly character of the person who has raised objections

2) His supposed broken relationship with God

At the extreme end, our history has seen martyrs accused of heresy and burned at the stake so that their soul may be saved. Somewhat less severely, many churches today practice excommunication and shunning.

In our culture, it is common for spiritual abuse to be limited to false accusation, threat and pressure to 'recant'. If sustained, the stress may be sufficient to trigger mental health problems. Church is supposed to be a safe haven for its members. For some, an unhealthy church can cease to be a place of protection and instead becomes a prison of mental torture.

Shutting down concerns is of paramount importance to the paranoid leader seeking to fortify his position. Turning the tables is a common 'first port of call'.

In the first instance, the one who approaches the Pastor with a genuine call for adjustment is likely to be accused of attitudinal sins, rather than specific misdemeanours.  If the 'victim' has, to date, been a loyal, upright member of the congregation with no obvious bad behaviour, nothing else is likely to stick.

Sins of attitude are difficult to prove or deny, which is why such accusations are so useful. They serve to put the unfortunate member off his guard, questioning himself, rather than pressing through on the important issue raised with the leader. It is enough to silence some.

Initially, one will be accused of pride and arrogance. None of us are without fault, the story goes. The Pastor, like the Apostle Paul is, in his own words 'the greatest of sinners'. And he recognizes it. So he doesn't need anyone to show him his faults - he is only too well aware of them. And that's why it is cruel, heartless and arrogant to 'accuse' him. We should be gracious and silent, rather than critical and unforgiving. God alone will deal with him if it is needed.

Such a response successfully insulates the Pastor against just criticism, while he confesses no specific sin, thus turning the tables on the concerned member as a graceless, proud accuser.

"Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone," he may quote - failing to note that we are not throwing stones, neither are we condemning. We simply seek accountability.

If not pulling the 'superior education card', some spiritually abusive Pastors will attack the 'educated', especially if there were shortcomings in their own schooling and they believe themselves to be men of  'Holy Spirit revelation'. The educated, if they bring any doctrinal correction are, by default, arrogant and prideful. They are men of the 'head', not the 'spirit', and consequently 'set themselves against God'.

A favourite Scripture, which places the 'Spirit-led' Pastor beyond correction is:

And this is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom, but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The natural man does not accept the things thatc ome from the Spirit of God. For they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man judges all things, but he himself is not subject to anyone’s judgment.… 1 Cor 2: 13-15

The very sins which the Pastor denounces: criticism, slander, divisiveness, insinuation are usually those of which he is particularly guilty in his own preaching as he rails against the proud, as he slanders or, at least, insinuates evil in those who call him to account and as he divides the silent 'faithful' in order to isolate his questioning victim.

Having successfully turned the tables on his so-called 'opponent' by maligning his character, he will move on to attacking the poor member's relationship with God - and will find any pretext to do so. 

Simply failing to turn up to meetings is evidence enough that the 'erring' member's relationship to God is in question. A justification for that leap?  Jesus' words that 'whatever you do to the least of these my brethren you do to me' - You are distancing yourselves from your brothers by failing to attend. Therefore, you are distancing yourself from Christ!  Brutal, in light of the fact that one's less frequent attendance at meetings may be entirely due to the emotional manipulation and abuse suffered during them.

Much is likely to be made of  'Covenant'. That resigning a church position, or leaving the church is 'breaking covenant' with brothers and therefore breaking covenant with God. Of course, Scripture says nothing whatsoever about a believer's covenant with his church, or his Pastor.

Believers are called to love, not to be part of an organization 'at any price'. Those who leave are not 'branches cut off from the Vine', fit for burning. 

Having successfully turned the tables against an undesirable member and persuaded the congregation of his 'erring' ways, it remains an easy job for the Pastor to convince his flock not to make contact if he leaves. One wouldn't want to be tainted with the same spirit of criticism and rebellion, after all. To be successful, that convincing is easily done merely through the power of insinuation and suggestion.

And so it is, that an entire congregation shuns a member that has been targeted for speaking up and draws ever closer to the Pastor, lest the same tragedy happens to them.