Why 'good-hearted' church members shun.

 

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Christians are, on the whole, not people given to mean-spirited nastiness and outright hate. After all, the bottom line of Christianity is to 'love with all your heart.' Most aspire to be charity-orientated, considerate people who put others first.

So what explains the brutal shunning by apparently good-hearted people that is characteristic of some Christian groups, when an influential member leaves?

The friends we had in our church were indeed kind-hearted, caring people who looked out for each other. And yet, unless on the fringes of the church, they refused to allow any communication with us after we left.

Shunning becomes group policy when it is promoted by the leader. Its primary purpose is to supress what he perceives to be negative facts and influences which undermine his position. It serves to keep truth under wraps and silence whistleblowers.

There are a number of tools which contribute to the successful implementation of the Pastor's goal.

Primarily, Scripture is weaponized against the victim. 

Verses which warn against fraternising with 'divisive' people are deployed. (No mention that the Apostle Paul acknowledged there must be divisions, at times, to show who was in the right) And a theology is promoted which warns that if you associate with divisive people, that bad spirit will overtake you,  and you too will become infected with a critical spirit, opening yourself up to all the supposed consequences that brings.

Those  include (so the message goes) losing the protection from Satan that the 'body of Christ' provides. You will suffer physical and mental loss. Satan will be allowed to bring catastrophe on you - if not in this life, then in the next. You have 'departed from the ship'. You are 'cut off from the vine' and are chaff only fit for burning. The only way back in is to 'recant.'

In the average member's mind, fear of this is compounded by the huge emotional risk of damaging the relationship with the one person on whom you rely for security, affirmation and love and risking isolation from your friends. 

Shunning is not primarily driven by hate but by fear, cleverly orchestrated by a leader believing his status is threatened. That fear is expressed in hatred.

Shunning is his perfect strategy since it shuts down every communication channel and is very effective in suppressing truth. It is often taught that shunning is ultimately an expression of compassion, since its supposed goal is to induce the wayward brother to repent.

It is tragic that so many 'good' people within unhealthy churches do not, or cannot see shunning for what it really is, and unwittingly continue in this evil practice all the while convinced they are doing the work of God or perhaps, too fearful to speak up.